Confessions of a pregnant me

Confession number 1:

I'm big. I'm fat. And I don't mind saying so (well, maybe just a little). Imagine for a moment with me...how would you feel if most every time you bump into an acquaintance you hear one of the following:
*Oh my goodness! Your stomach is HUUUUGGGE!
*You have gotten so BIG.
*Awww...look how big you've gotten.
*YAAAY! Look how big you are now!
*You have definitely gotten bigger since I last saw you (this said with a shameless once-over look while patting my rather squishy arms)
*Wow, look at that big belly!

Aghm. Yeah. I know the sayings are well meant (I sure hope so anyway) but imagine a
collection of those lines floating around in your head every day. Ahahahah. I choose to laugh.

Confession number 2:

I mind not when males who are friends respectfully pat the baby bump. Continually rubbing the entire baby bump for more than six seconds (unless you are a family member or are waiting, at my prompting, for the baby to kick) is not acceptable by me. In fact, it becomes awkward. So no thank you very much.

Confession number 3:

It cracks me up and endears me to whoever is doing it, how overly protective people can be of pregnant women. For many people, pregnant = helpless.

*You must sit in the front seat of a car.
*Sarah! You shouldn't be carrying that (two pound) basket of dry laundry! Gasp!
*How can you STAND that skirt and blouse? You should be wearing shorts and tank tops (this told to me by my pregnant neighbor who strolls around all day with mini shorts and tank top rolled all the way up off her belly.
*Don't sit in THAT chair! You have to sit in THIS (better) chair.
*At the grocery store: Can I help you bring those (two small) bags to your car?
*Oh PLEASE sit down. (how dare I stand for even a few minutes?)

Again, all of this is well meant, but funny. And so I laugh and appreciate.

Confession number 4:

I do love certain perks. Such as pretending that my one and only craving has been cereal. I have always loved cereal, and now I have a good reason to eat as much as I want, any kind I fancy. Well not really. I totally ignore the expensive ones and pretend they are not even on the store shelf. I like cereal, and now I get to eat it more. Heh. Also the perk of asking for, but not abusingly, back, neck, or foot rubs. Mmmm...heavenly. Who can deny the plea of a pregnant woman? Huh Jason? Poor guy.

Thou shalt not get me wrong. I love our baby boy and am exstatic at the prospect of his arrival. I cannot wait, even though I have no choice but waiting. But the whole pregnancy process is interesting to live through. Most aspects are enjoyable, many laughable, and now, as the belly does most certainly grow, highly uncomfortable. Can I really endure two more months?

So now you know. If you have any desire to make this blogger happy, cereal and massages are welcome. Always. Baby belly or no.